I hate you Allan2

Before I begin this story I just want to say that the stuff I did in this story were  stupid and reckless. Lady luck was definitely on my side that night. I’m in no way encouraging anyone to do what I did.  I was actually reluctant to publish this story because of how controversial it was.

But I wanted to. I wanted to share it with my readers and let them know that I’m not perfect. Even when I’m very much into lifestyle development and I put a lot effort into helping others.

I occasionally make mistakes.

I’m only human. The most important thing is that I’ve learned from my mistakes and I feel some of the greatest lessons in life are not from your successes but from your failures.

So here I am. Showing you my flaws and hopefully entertaining you guys a bit off my expense.

If you like drunken stories a la Tucker Max then continue reading. If not then you might want to skip this post.

So let’s get started.

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When a man embarks on a journey through piss, vomit and alcohol. One may frown upon such hideous and mindless acts.

But not me.

It was around 10pm. I put on a shirt I recently bought, it smells nice. I’m not a shirt kind of a guy. I prefer t-shirts and my polo shirt. Neither of them suffocates me. However Simon insisted heavily, I caved in.

I drive to town and meet up with Simon. Karel is the destination. To be honest I just wanted it to be slow night. But the Gods had other ideas.

Simon dangles a ticket in my face. I grab it.

On the ticket with huge bold lettering ” Get a FREE bottle of RUM!”

This isn’t going to end well.

I’ve only had 2 blackouts in my life. This night would be known as number 3.

Simon is enthusiastic as always sporting a skinny tight shirt with a tie. Apparently there’s free grill food so we go grab some. There’s cute girl’s everywhere and I was very optimistic about my night.

I wish I could tell you one of my awesome “I got laid” stories. This is sadly not one of them.

After some chit chat we decide it’s rum time. We go and cash in our ticket and voila a bottle of rum. I look at the bartender with a question mark on my face “Where’s the cola?”.

“You only get the bottle. But you can buy some soda to mix with it, if you want?”

I consider this for a second and say ” Fuck it we don’t need it”.

Me and Simon from this point on are drinking rum directly from the bottle while running around stealing beverages from other people to hopefully mix it with our rum. We are cheap.

We also start telling each other stories from the past. Past embarrassing stories that none of us have shared with anyone, it was truly a bonding experience.

So while we’re laughing and drowning our past sorrows and randomly engage girls we find cute. I suddenly go blank. It was never our intention to get drunk. Just a slight buzz.

For whatever reason I end up sitting on a couch and I’m vomiting profusely. I look around to make sure that the 45 people in the room didn’t notice my re-enactment of the exorcist.

I decide I need to bounce.

Several girls are commenting on my lack of control since I’m spilling my drink all over them and my new shirt, which I obviously haven’t noticed. I somehow end up downstairs somewhere behind an alley and vomit some more. I must say at this point I can barely remember where I am and where I’m going. But one thing I do know. I need to go home.

I’ve lost Simon at this point. The next night I call him to find out the details. Here are his words:

So I’m talking to this cute girl while keeping one eye on Allan. Everything seems to be all good. He seems cheerful and not too drunk. A minute later he’s gone. I give the girl my number and immediately storm off to search for him. I must’ve at least walked around the entire club 4 times. I then go out of the club and sprint to where he usually parks. No car. I go to Lorian’s old place and to the lake and still no sign. While running around worried, I’ve been texting and calling him. Allan doesn’t answer his phone at all.

By this point It’s a complete blackout. The last thing I remember is getting to my car.

Now before we continue with this story. I think you can guess what’s going to happen next. I just want to clarify that I in no way am pro drunk driving. It’s stupid and reckless. You’re not only putting yourself in danger but you’re also putting others at risk. So just for the record. What I did was stupid and should not be copied.

So I’m in my car and start to drive off. Now it’s a 15min drive back to my place. But tonight it felt like it was just 2min. Because the only thing I remember from here on out. Was getting in my car and parking it in my driveway. I don’t know how I got there or if I even got abducted by aliens.

But all I can say is that I’m glad I’m alive.

While stumbling into my house. I immediately remove all clothing and crash on my bed. Only to occasionally use any strength I have left to direct my head over the edge of my bed and vomit.

The next day I wake up with the worst hangover ever. To make matters worse I’ve completely forgotten that today is my parent’s wedding anniversary party.

It starts in 2 hours and I’m the designated driver for my siblings.

I go out  and vomit until there are no more bodily fluids inside of me. Put on a shirt and round everyone up. I drive everyone up to the restaurant where the party is held. The story of my drunken night has already spread like wildfire and there’s nothing better than gossip loving family members.

Great.

The next 2 hours I’m bombarded with lectures and words of advice from the entire family. To make matters worse.

I’m visiting the bathroom at a 10min interval rate to vomit my guts out.

While dealing with this for at least 2 hours, I decided I’ve had enough. I had to lay down or I’m going to die before the day is over. I go out and find my parked car. The time is 3:45pm and I get in the backseat to get some shuteye.

I wake up and look at my watch.

It’s 7pm.

I’ve slept in the backseat of my car for almost 4 hours. However I’m feeling a lot better and no longer feel like there’s a kid beating my head with a sledgehammer. Even the urge to spill out my guts is gone. So I pick myself up and join the party.

Everyone comes with a little cheer when they see me. Assholes.

But nevertheless the majority of them are tipsy and my parents aren’t pissed off anymore.

They do come over and give me a slight lecture but with love. Understandably so, I’m just glad I didn’t ruin their day… completely.

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